The CiRCE Institute has published our headmaster’s interview with educator and author Rachel Woodham, which was research for her upcoming book, Let There Be Play.
Unsurprisingly, Thomas offered some choice insight and wisdom:
…young men are entering adolescence and are not really boys anymore. This is a historically unprecedented moment for a lot of reasons. One is our safety-first mentality, which makes us very wary of anything risky that could turn into something really dangerous. We have tended to roll back the boundaries well before anything like that could happen. It is also unusual historically to have adolescents always in the presence of adults. When young men have the opportunity to figure out their own limits apart from adult supervision, it forces them to grow in responsibility and judgment. Those are things that can only grow when they are being used. If adults are always making the judgments for you, you don’t have to ask the question, is this too far? Am I playing by the rules? Is now the right time to stop? Historically, guys figured that out. I think there does come a time, around 12– 13 years old, when having some unmonitored, unsupervised time is really healthy for young men in the right circumstances.
As far as where those lines are between rough play turn and something too violent, sometimes that’s a limit that guys are going to find through trial and error. Sometimes things do go too far. Sometimes what starts as a friendly wrestling match does turn into more of a fight. Most of the time, if guys do cross that line, they figure it out, and they roll things back. There might be some hard feelings in the meantime, but usually they work it out. You need to leave your kids unsupervised sometimes so they can figure out the rules of engagement for themselves and grow in judgment.
Check out the whole thing.
